As we welcome the Year of the Rat tomorrow, I would like to think that this is the year where Mummy Ho watches over us wherever she may be. It’s more than 10 years ago she left us and I still remember what she tells me the traits of a people born in the Year of the Rat - the rat’s superpower is that they “pandai cari makan” - and I do think that’s pretty true. Well, as far as she’s concerned anyway.

She never relied on Papa for money to put food on the table or for her to buy her own things. From very early on I see her do lots of things that would allow her to earn or make money. Let’s see - catering, transportation for kids to school, kindergarten, tuition, weekend book-keeping and in between all that - watching Beritex (if some of you are old enough to remember, those days there were some TVs which you buy just for these extra special channels to check stock market shares and 4D number).

So mummy, here’s to you for your year! Hope you’re somewhere up there blessing us with your superpowers!

Here’s a couple of photos of our simple CNY eve dinner. Celebrating with different group of people now but still won’t forget our noisy families in the old days...

Some home-cooked, some store-bought.

Jeff with our CNY eve dinner spread.

Kong2 + Por2's Tablet & Urn

Lots of praying...

Wanted to "predict" my luck and reading but...

The "reading" machine rosak wor...

Late Papa & Mummy's resting place...

We brought some of Papa & Mummy's favourite food.

Well, that was all I did for Cheng Beng. The planning wasn't rocket science, but we always do the basic and simple as that was what Papa & Mummy likes keeping it simple.

Boo with the lil' rascals.

"Mamam!"

Of course, most of the time it wasn't a bluff...

My woogies eat almost anything!

Random shot...

Bobbi Ho's big foot!

Yups! It's Mother's Day today and here's wishing all mamas out there, aunties, cousins, kai-mas, girlfriends, colleagues, friends, and others a super-duper Happy Mama's Day. Go get pampered today! Hehehe...

Here's also to Mummy Ho. Happy Mama's Day to you. You are always missed (especially missing your cooking now coz we're home and sick).

I'm off again later, this time up north to the land of the paddy fields. The last time I was there, mum tagged along. I used to try to dissuade her from tagging along, thinking that she would be bored as I will be there for work (in true fact, I was looking forward to a little breather from home).

Now, remembering those times, I'm glad she came and we both enjoyed the northern Malay food while we were there. We were there for a national badminton tournament, and mum watched all the games live, VIP style.

I'm glad she came along with me to as many games I went.

I'm glad I was able to let her enjoy the trips, the food, the shopping and others while we were about.

I regret not paying for an extra ticket for her when I had a trip to Jakarta before, telling her I would be busy working. I was in fact very busy, plus I was not earning much to splurge on air tickets at that time.

I'm sad that she will no longer be tagging along. How funny that I want her to tag along now when I didn't before.

I promised to treat her to a Bangkok trip, knowing how much she would love the colours, sights and sounds. We did not make that trip.

I was busy working and not paying enough attention.

Then she was diagnosed with 4th stage lung cancer.

I told her when she got better, I'll take her to Langkawi for a short trip. I remembered her once telling me she don't get to go to places much.

She did not make it to Langkawi.

Nor Bangkok.

How I wish she still could.


Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone

It's been a weird day. And I want these! Should I just go ahead and buy them online? Products are from Kikki-K.



Wanna make a scrapbook for mum. Then do the dad version. Or if they have the mum and dad version, even better... or hmmm... just don't buy and DIY everything myself (which also means will-never-start-the-project).




This is also interesting. If only we had nice stuffs like these during my student days before Facebook and Twitter and Friendster came along. How many of you had autograph books (a more accurate term would probably be "memory books") where your friends write silly rhymes, personal biodata, paste photos in it? Wonder if kids still do that today?

I still have my "autograph book" lying among my rubble at home somewhere. Hope the silverfishes has not devoured the whole thing yet?

Dreamt of mum last night.

Did not want to wake up but had to.

Missing her...

(Apparently Mel also dreamt of her and papa last night...)

... since mummy left us.


One of her last photo with both her girls.

We really really miss you mummy!

Rest in peace.

I have been meaning to take time off from the office for a visit to the temple today but work kept on getting me distracted and so it was too late to apply for a day's leave by the time I realised the day has come.

It has been 4 years ago today.

So well, will be lighting up joss-sticks at home for you instead, Papa Ho. Will take mum and sis to pay our respects soon.

And now Nikki Ho's there to accompany you.



We still miss you!

Note : Backed the time to almost the exact time 4 years ago. This was actually written at 11.58pm today.

Today marks papa's 3rd year anniversary...

... the 3rd year papa has left us.



We went to the temple yesterday to pay our respects... and brought him some of his favourites.



Paid our respects to grandpa too since we were there.



In Loving Memory...

It was mum's birthday so I took her to her favourite place for dinner...


Sakae Sushi!

I already bought her an early birthday present so got her favourite flower that night.



A stalk of lily.



Eating. Yummy!



Then it was time to do some camwhoring!



Mum and I.



Melissa and I.



And the person who paid for dinner plus plus...



ME-lah! Who else...

I was hunting high and low for my photo papers. Thought it was time to start my scrap book project. Oh, OK... found them. Now I need to print photos, collect bits and pieces of memorabilia to be included into the scrap book. So started browsing through my photo album in my portable hard drive. Saw a folder... Papa In Memory. Opened it. Saw some of the photos we took with Papa, about a year before he passed away. Regretting very much that I did not backed up ALL my digital photos in a CD or DVD. They were all wiped out when my Compaq notebook hard drive crashed on me the last time. Gone are the photos I took of us with Papa, with our family members. Photos of his wake. Photos of his funeral. Photos of us sending him off to sea. Hundreds of visual memories which I can no longer take back.

Browsing through the album, brings back lots of memories... bittersweet memories. Being the eldest, it was of course automatically my responsibility to help take care of the family affairs. Mummy was too occupied taking care of Papa. Melissa was about to sit for her SPM that year. I was in a job which I could enjoy and like, but somehow could not really be. From the time when Papa was admitted, right till the day he was discharged, my life was HOME - WORK - HOSPITAL - HOME. Hey, I'm not complaining. It was my duty, what I was suppose to do, and I thank my friends who understood and supported me the entire time. I'm grateful to my entire family for always being with us. I'm especially and deeply grateful to my cousin Abang Izal who was with us, helping us the entire time. Without him, we could not have attended better to Papa's needs when he was in the hospital. Thank you so much. This is why you are always my favourite cousin, you see.

Papa Ho and his cheeky grin

I really really really really miss you, Papa. Sometimes when things do not go well, I am always seeking out for your advice. I always stare at your photo, the family portrait we took when I graduated. It saddens me when I think of Melissa not having the chance to take her graduation photo with you in it.

Us girls with mum at KLIA

I then started buying photo frames. When IKEA had a sale, I get to buy the frames cheaper = more frames to buy. Metrojaya sale - cheaper frames. I think I buy more photo frames than clothes during these sales. After we moved to the new place, slightly after a year Papa was gone, I started my project. I looked through my entire digital album I have, and started printing out photos which I really really really like. Photos of us with friends and family. Photos of Papa with his 3 girls. Photos of cousins, aunties, uncles, friends and many more. I print them and slot them into the frames. Then I hung them on the walls. My project is far from being complete, I'm still working on it.

I bring my camera almost everywhere I go now, especially during family outings. Life is unpredictable. I try to take as many shots I can of Mummy, Melissa and myself. I try to take photos of family gatherings. I am always the kiasu one behind the camera during Chinese New Year, snapping away. I used to at one time, not happy being the one taking photos (I don't get to enjoy my reunion dinner you see). Now? My fingers automatically do the clicking. Click! Click! Click!

What am I ranting about? Sush!

Anyway, here's some photos from my Papa In Memory album - for me and whosoever is interested to glance through.

Breakfast @ Parkroyal KL

We celebrated the New Year at Parkroyal Hotel, Kuala Lumpur. This photo was taken on the 1st January 2004, about a month after Papa's operation. Oh, and this was the day I lost my previous Yahoo! account to hackers! Demmit!

Family photo

This was one of the first after a long time. And we always try to have more after this one.

Papa. Content after a huge breakfast (which was good as his appetite became much much smaller)

Papa & Balloon

Papa still had time to play around with balloons. I think this one some kid dropped it and I asked Papa to pose with it. As you can see, he obliged. This photo was taken during the early days of Berjaya Times Square.

Long John's Silver. His fav fast food.

Papa at his favourite fast food joint; Long John Silver's. Could it be that he shares the same name, Johnny?

Papa & Aunty Soo

Aunty Soo came back to Malaysia (from Australia) that year (2004) to celebrate Chinese New Year with us. It was Papa's last with us.

Papa & Mum posing randomly in KFC

Here's Papa trying to be cool.

Smile!

But not for long...

Papa's always this cheeky, making funny faces when I ask him to pose for a photo.

Here's another one.

Family photo

We took this family photo when Melissa was on her National Service (NS). Visited her at Universiti Putra Malaysia's (UPM) campus EVERY weekend.

Me with Papa & Mummy Ho

Sis & I

My favourite cousin, Abang Izal with Papa and Mummy Ho.

And then Melissa jumped into the frame.

Photo of Melissa with Papa Ho.

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Remember my poem I wrote for you, Papa?

Of course by now my initial plan to do scrap booking, has been postponed to another time. Preferably when my eyes are dry and alert.